I’ll be publishing periodic articles about different topics of interest, and I hope you find meaning and inspiration and good ideas you can consider for yourself. (If you like these, consider subscribing to my blog, where these are published first, so you get the latest.)
I had three healing realizations this year: 1) What I grieve I love 2) What I refuse to surrender I love, and 3) Think like a poet, think like a scientist.
To some degree, we’ve moved from shock to resignation—from anxiety to depression, as the pandemic wears on. But there is another phenomena underneath the losses, moments of reflection about priorities, clarity around values. In my life this takes place in three ways: First, I’ve noticed all I’ve missed. Having grieved the losses, I can now see them as signposts of love. The mirror image of my losses is what I’ve tried to nurture. What’s left of my agency during this time of constraints. What I have chosen to focus on is another shining light clarifying my values, the absolute essential aspects of life that I will not surrender, no matter the circumstances. Third, here are my touch stones: think small, very small, eat the cookie, look at the moss, and think big, very big, think about eternity and impossible grandeur of the known universe, and consider the ancient light of the stars, and the distant light of the sun making my plants bloom.
Why Should I Feel My Feelings?
People are prickly about their feelings. Understandably. We have so many of them all the time, and so few of them are allowed out in polite society. But the work of therapy in is part the work of putting our minds, bodies, and hearts back together, in relationship with each other, so the person can feel whole. The point of feeling feelings isn’t to act on feeling, but to understand the source, how our feelings illuminate our needs and our hopes and longings…
Trusting After Disappointment and Heartbreak
In my analysis, there are two major factors to consider when exploring how to rebuild trust towards other human beings. First, who are the people you have been inviting into your life–Are they healthy enough to participate in a sustained friendship or relationship? Second, how can you practice trust in a way that doesn’t overwhelm or scare you? Read More.
Managing Anxiety by Respecting the Nervous System
Anxious? Here are some options for managing your rising anxiety that work with your nervous system. Read More.
Why is it so hard to say “No” & how to practice
A discussion of the common fears of those who have trouble saying “No” and some ideas about how to start practicing its use. Read More.
Science and the Many Paths to Healing
This is my favorite article. I bring together strands that include science, the nervous system, faith, healing, placebos, biological determinism, psychotherapy’s effectiveness, and hope. Read More.
Creating Meaning & Healing Personal Rituals
Is there something you want to celebrate, mourn, think about communally, or notice in your life, but aren’t sure how to go about it? If your usual strategies don’t feel quite sufficient, develop a personal ritual (regardless of your religious or atheist upbringing). Here’s how.
One way to feel greater meaning in your life is to consider what your priorities are, and where you want to spend your time and effort. Read More.
Finding Support When your Support Network Is Limited
There are times in life when you have a smaller support network than you would like. (Maybe it’s 3am. Maybe you’ve just moved to a new town, or there’s been losses in your life.) There are still ways of caring for yourself when you are on your own. Read More.
Checking In with Yourself for Self-Care
Another way to care for yourself is to make time to check-in with yourself at the beginning of the day, and at the end of the work day, when you still have a little time left to engage in self-care. Read More.
Creating a Self Care Plan, Part I: Using your Body
I’m going to help you craft your own self-care plan. This approach allows your wisdom and expertise in the topic of you to shine through. Pick a calm day to do this activity. When you’re calm and centered you can think more clearly. The goal is to plan for a bad day when you’re having a good day, so you can prepare the path. Read More.