It’s Not You. It’s the Pandemic

Just hopping on to say that I’ve been noticing a recurring phenomenon among my clients in the last two weeks: small personal setbacks feel overwhelming. I’m here to say, it’s not you. It’s the pandemic. I’m using the word pandemic as a shorthand for the multiple co-occurring crises that dominate the news: COVID 19, real time climate change, economic struggles, a vigorous social justice movement, and an exhausting election cycle. Not only have we hit the six month mark of constant crisis and are now suffering from total burnout from this sustained state of hyper vigilance, but, additionally, any personal setback feels like one weight too many on our backs.

We’re so steeped in multiple national crises that we forget how demanding the whole effort is on our nervous systems.

If we were seeing and hugging our friends regularly, any new bit of bad news would not be as devastating. We wouldn’t be feeling quite as untethered by work stress or by family problems.

It’s not you. It’s the pandemic.

The pandemic is draining us of some of our plentiful resilience. At this point, we are all somewhat under-resourced. We need a nap, a hug, a snack, some time with friendly faces, some time away from our pandemic roommates.

The low grade depression and anxiety that is sweeping the country is taking its slow, unrelenting toll.

We must maintain our lives as best we can:

Get some rest. Get out of the house and go for a walk in Fall sunshine. Call a friend (don’t video call, just call). Nourish our souls. Nourish our sense of purpose. Develop new skill sets, find some growth. Continue to celebrate the changing of the seasons and the fun holidays, like Halloween, however possible. Stay safe, stay healthy, wear a mask, wash your hands, and try to embody the values that matter most to you.

Our resilience will return, but it’s okay if this week we feel quite vulnerable and a bit precarious. Take a break. Forgive yourself for needing compassion. We all need kindness and rest.

It’s not you. It’s the pandemic.

Hang in there. It’s going to be (more or less) okay.