Article: Recovering from being too sensitive

Have you ever been told “You’re too sensitive?” or maybe told that your emotional reactions were “too much?”.   According to Dr. Elaine Aron, this experience is fairly common for children and adults–about 20% of the population experiences life as a Highly Sensitive Person.  One of defining features of being “sensitive” is that you might have strong reactions to both sensory and social stimulation. You might need more rest or time to care for yourself. It might take you more time to make sense of your experiences. I find this theory fascinating, because it overlays nicely with the work being done through the Somatic Experiencing Trauma Institute.

There’s already some research confirming that Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) feel emotions more deeply–“that awareness and responsiveness are fundamental features of SPS”–meaning that HSPs will pick up more readily on emotional cues from others, and they will also respond to the emotions they pick up from others more intensely. My professional estimation, based on my clinical experience,  (I’m just starting to look into the research findings),  is that Highly Sensitive People have a more highly responsive nervous system overall. They take criticism and life experiences to heart, and experience emotion within their bodies much more readily than others. But if they can survive the experience of living in their responsive, compassionate minds and bodies, HSPs can do great things in the world. I particularly like this article from Entrepreneur Magazine.

Here’s another preliminary clinical formulation based on my client population, because they are so exquisitely attuned, unfortunately, HSPs often have challenging childhoods, and difficult teen years, which can impact their overall functioning by the time they are adults. The good news is that the world of psychology is increasingly finding great new strategies for helping those who are highly sensitive calm their nervous systems, through mindfulness strategies, and by incorporating knowledge gained through the polyvagal theory, for example.

So if you feel that your sensitivity has made life more challenging for you than for others, you’re on to something. And if you’re ready to get some support and find a more comfortable way of being in the world, please know that strategies do exist (I’m very interested both in Somatic Experiencing and in Brainspotting) and that I’m ready to do that work with you.

(One of the most exciting aspects of being a therapist is when different concepts come together and suddenly the puzzle pieces fall into place in a meaningful way and you find powerful new language–I’m so excited by this line of inquiry.)